Mental toughness is often talked about in ways that miss its depth, complexity, and nuance. However, understanding grit’s downside is crucial, as persisting through challenges can sometimes lead to burnout or neglect of other important aspects of life. Recognizing these downside aspects of grit helps us plan better and avoid these pitfalls.
In high-performance environments, “grit” and “resilience” are buzzwords often thrown around in hiring, coaching, and leadership development. But a growing body of research—and frontline experience—shows that what looks like toughness on the surface can actually be a mask for rigidity, emotional suppression, or burnout in disguise. Being aware of grit’s downside is vital to prevent these issues.
Psychologist Adam Grant has warned against what he calls the “toxic stoicism” trap: people who suppress vulnerability and over-identify with being seen as unshakeable, even when they’re struggling internally. Similarly, Brené Brown’s work on courage and vulnerability reminds us that true resilience doesn’t come from avoidance—it comes from facing discomfort with openness and honesty.
This distinction matters more than ever as AI tools reshape hiring, making soft skills like adaptability, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence the differentiators in what machines can’t do. In fact, as algorithms increasingly screen for keywords like “resilient” or “gritty,” the risk is hiring those who say the right things but lack the real internal capacity to manage pressure, recover from setbacks, and function effectively under stress.
Call it fake grit—a surface-level performance of toughness that looks good in interviews or meetings, but falters under real strain—a true downside of unnecessary grit.
Hidden Red Flags of Fake Grit:
- Never admitting fatigue (“I don’t need a break”)
- Overidentification with being the “go-to” under pressure
- Minimising others’ emotional needs as weakness
- Avoiding vulnerability or honest reflection
- Thriving only in chaos, but lacking long-term consistency
By contrast, Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson—whose research underpins Google’s Project Aristotle—shows that teams with high psychological safety (where people can admit mistakes, ask for help, or say “I don’t know”) consistently outperform those with performative toughness.
What Real Resilience Looks Like:
- Owning limits without excuse
- Recovering quickly from setbacks—without denial
- Staying flexible under change
- Balancing composure with vulnerability
- Uplifting others’ capacity, not just performing solo
As coaches, recruiters, and leaders, it’s time to shift the lens. Instead of asking, “Does this person seem tough?”—we should ask, “Can this person adapt, recover, and support others through uncertainty?” Being aware of grit’s downside helps frame the right questions to assess true resilience.
In a world increasingly shaped by technology, it’s the human edge—genuine, practiced resilience—that stands out, and understanding grit’s downside will ensure we don’t overlook it.
